This is a great question and I think adds another layer of nuance to the article. There certainly is gain and loss from the choices we make, but some of our FEARS about what we might loose might be unfounded because of binary thinking, not having role models who show us otherwise, our history, etc. So while we can anticipate loss as part of a choice, it's important to also be open to the possibility that we don't actually KNOW for certain what the gains or losses might be. I think that's what you were saying?