This is a complex question and there are different answers for different situations. I agree children should have body autonomy when it comes to affection. This is very important. But they don't get to chose to eat cookies instead of food for meals because it isn't healthy for them. They don't get to pick their own bedtime. As you said, we make them brush their teeth. If a child is not in danger or neglected or in a toxic relationship with the other parent, then we know that a good relationship with both parents is very good for them, and is important, and is valued. So having them go to their visits is important. That is the message (unless, like Rebecca Acree said, there is a legitimate reason that should be listened to (something that is bad for them).