There Are Few Actual Tigers in Our Lives

Anxiety, at its core, is about the future. We can’t worry about the past — it has already happened. We also can’t worry about the present moment — if we are oriented to the present, we are aware that we are here, alive, and the future hasn’t happened yet. Thus whether it be 30 seconds from now or 30 years from now, when we are worried or fearful, we are concerned about what is going to happen — what hasn’t happened yet.

This isn’t to say that our concern about the future can’t be informed, in some way — by the past or the present. If my neighbor’s dog has tried to bite me every time I walk by their house, it is understandable I would feel fearful to approach the dog. Likewise, if I am currently suffering from a terrible migraine, it makes sense that I would feel dread when thinking about the pain I could be in for the next hour. In fact, it’s not just that it makes sense — anxiety and fear are adaptive. All animals possess this instinctual experience for survival. Without it, we might walk blithely into a fire, or attempt to befriend a hungry tiger.

But much of the anxiety we experience today — setting aside true, reality-based concerns — is not adaptive and is even maladaptive. That isn’t to say that it isn’t based on past experience, or knowledge, or our current experience. It’s more that the stakes are frequently lower than our worries would…