Living together after a split can be great for the kids and great for parental access to the kids, but can only work if the two people have crystal clear boundaries, spelled-out, detailed, clear agreements, and have emotionally worked-through grieving the end of their relationship. Otherwise all you have is another iteration of the dysfunctional relationship you were in. I dont mean to sound harsh at all, its just really challenging to make it work well and feel good. Takes a lot of work for two people who are ending the relationship because things werent working.

Also on a side note, I completely understand why you are bending so much to try to keep the peace but I think you’re going to tolerate things having to be hard and messy in order to move forward. He is going to get upset. You have different needs than him (and the kids) and that’s ok, even if everyone is not happy about it and complains, they’ll adjust. He doesnt get to decide who you talk to or dont. Or your privacy. Or what you do with your time. Etc.