If after an affair both members of the couple go to therapy — separately and together — the relationship can be rebuilt. Healing from the betrayal is step one, the hard part comes after that — when the old marriage that wasn’t working is dismantled and a new, healthy marriage can be created. The individual work is important because each person has to work on their unique issues (unrelated to the marriage) as well.

But step one can’t even begin if there isn’t accountability and loving work towards healing. Or a sincere effort towards repair.

It sounds like your wife is not interested in repair or intimacy. So the question for you is: would you regret leaving a relationship with someone whom you love but is not willing or able to act in loving, compassionate, accountable, and reparative ways towards you after having broken your heart? If the answer is no, then you have your answer.